Andi Meade

Today after chuch, after amazingly convincing and coaxing my childen to get into the van, despite the piles of snow that they were positively yearning to jump into – church clothes and shoes and all – I managed to wrangle Eli into his seat. I went to the other side and put Justus in his seat. I was waiting for Callie Grace to get the message and hop in, which she is normally good to do. In her great desire to please her mamma, she thought she could be helpful by shutting the automatic door. While my head was still on the inside of the van. Did anyone else assume that the door stops if it senses an object in it’s way?

It does not.

So there I found myself, absolutely squashed in between the door and the side of the van, the door pinning my head with an impressive and wild force, while I’m calmly trying to get Callie to hit the button to let me loose. Calmly. Quietly. After all, I am in the chuch parking lot.

This is exactly where my neurosis sets in. In the middle of the sharp pain, it occurred to me how funny and how utterly ridiculous I looked, pinned in my van, unable to get my head free. So then I started laughing, which, on the pain scale, was not beneficial, but on the mental health scale, was awesome. At the same time, Justus, who is totally unaware of his momma’s current trauma, is discussing the merits of his three different vacuum cleaners at home, quite earnesly.

I finally get Callie Grace’s attention away from the lovely diamonds the sun leaves in the snow enough to get her to open up the door.

For some reason, I have been laughing about this all day. And it’s not from lack of pain, my head is still killing me. Partly it comes from wanting to so much to always look like I’ve got it together (although anyone who saw Justus’ hair today would know that indeed, I do not!). Sometimes these painfully embarassing moments are exactly what God sends me to lighten me up, to help me see the joy in the ridiculous, unexpected, unforgetable moments.

I’m beyond certain that that there are more serious theological lessons to be taken from this, but at 10:30pm, while still at work, they elude me. I’m happy enough with the sweet knowledge he so hilariously imparted to me today. 🙂

Biblical Womanhood

Sisters in Christ

November 8, 2012 Andi Meade

Last night I had the privilege to meet with a group of women to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart – the importance of Christian friendships among women. This is a topic I’ve blogged about before, one that I feel passionately about. I’ve been looking forward to this class, while at the same time having some apprehension about it. It’s impossible to lead a class that discusses the importance of vulnerability and transparency without being, well, vulnerable and transparent. It was an amazing first class, ending the way all good classes full of women should – most of us were in tears.

Copious amounts of material can be found on this subject, but there are two issues that I have found to be primary barriers to female friendships. The first issue is that we are afraid that if people really knew us, they would discover just how neurotic and non have-it-all-together we really are. I can claim this issue for my own. You can only keep a mask on for so long before it starts to slip, and that can be terrifying.

The other issue that I keep encountering is that the busier life gets and the more items we have to juggle in our lives, friendships with other women are the first casualties of an over-extended calendar. We simply have to cut something out, and so friendships get the pink slip. This is an interesting dynamic of the self-sacrifice that we feel we must make for the sake of our families.

Both of these topics are ones I’m going to dissect and write about more in detail. For now, how many close friends do you have? (And by close friends, I mean friends who could look under your bed or in your closet without you experiencing a panic attack…).

Uncategorized

Age, Wisdom, Craziness.

November 5, 2012 Andi Meade

I’m turning 35 next week. I love birthdays, and not just my own, really I’ll celebrate anyone’s birthday. An excuse to be excited and eat cake, and I’m in. I do also love my own birthday for many reasons. I’ve never been one to hope nobody knows or remembers. I’m the one with the countdown to my birthday on my fridge. No really, it’s there.

Aging has never been a stressor for me. Maybe some of that can be attributed to the fact that I’ve always looked ridiculously young for my age, and I’ve been waiting until I actually look my age to be stressed about it. But more than that, there’s always been the certainty that I will surely get wiser with age. I’ve always thought it as pretty much a guaranteed. Like death and taxes. And no parking places in the pouring rain.

So here I am, about to be 35, and for the first time, there is a small amount of panic, but since I can’t seem to ever do anything in the normal way, it is not the normal panic about getting old. I feel panicked that I’m not wiser at all, and that indeed in some ways I’m headed in the opposite direction.

Is this normal? Is it in the same way that the humble are unaware of their own state of humbleness? (And along the same lines, the crazy are blissfully unaware of their own craziness?…. wait…). Does anyone ever actually feel wiser with age? James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” This is an extremely comforting text, followed by an extremely uncomfortable text in verse 6: “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”

Oops.

Doubt is a huge topic to be tackled another day in another blog – hopefully not five months from now. For now, tell me signs that let you know you are actually getting wiser, either in the comments or at andimeade@gmail.com.

Time to go map out my Christmas decorating strategy which goes into affect, not so coincidentally, on my birthday.

Uncategorized

Bible reading and cabbage

June 13, 2012 Andi Meade

My Bible reading this morning included a few chapters of Ezra. Now, I can’t speak for anyone else, but the idea of reading through the book of Ezra does not bring excitement to my soul. In fact, I confess to reading through many of the Old Testament books with a sense of sheer determination, as though they were something that must be endured for my own good. You know, like getting shots, or eating cabbage. Painful, but beneficial. (I apologize now to OT scholars and cabbage lovers. :))

This negative reaction really isn’t fair since, with the exception of a few chapters that give endless lists of rules or genealogies, the Old Testament is full of exciting stories and practical applications. However, my grin-and-bear-it attitude often causes me to miss this.

Back to Ezra. Ezra starts out with the king of Persia sending the Israelites back to Jerusalem after being in exile. They return to what appears to be a desolate city and a destroyed temple of God. In chapter 3 verse 8, in the ESV, “Now in the second year after their coming to the house of God at Jerusalem, in the second month, Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel and Jeshua the son of Jozadak made a beginning, together with the rest of their kinsmen, the priests and the Levites and all who had come to Jerusalem from the captivity. They appointed the Levites, from twenty years old and upward, to supervise the work of the house of the Lord.”

That phrase, “made a beginning”, leaped out of the page and struck me with force. As I began to ponder what that meant, I looked back at the beginning of Ezra to let what was happening really sink in. In other translations, that phrase reads as “began the work”.

The Israelites had been set free from captivity to return home. They returned to find much work in front of them. Even the beginning of the verse shows that things didn’t get off to a quick start, since it took two years after they returned before they “made a beginning”, or “began the work”.

How many of us, for whatever reason, need to make a beginning, need to begin the work? How many of us have been held captive to something, and then set free? For all of us who are Christians, all of us know what this means. How many of us, after being freed, still haven’t made a beginning? In my mind, the applications for this phrase are limitless. What is the work that needs to be done, where to do we need to start over? Is it in our finances? Is it in how we are raising our children? Is it in our personal relationships? Is it in our spiritual disciplines practice? Is it in how we are taking care of ourselves and our surroundings?

So often, so very often, we feel too far gone to begin the work. Too much has happened, too much time has passed, too much destruction has come. What a blessing for us that we have the book of Ezra to look to for an example. With the Lord’s help, we are never too far gone. What has been destroyed can be rebuilt.

Where do you need to make a beginning today? Where do you need to intentionally start over and begin the work? When the Israelites went to work rebuilding the temple, they had a game plan. They were organized and purposeful. If there is an area that you need to begin the work, make certain you take this to the Lord and make a plan for how to accomplish the work. And then by the grace of God, make a beginning.

Reading List

April 11, 2012 Andi Meade

Here is my current reading list:

Any guesses on which one gets more play time? 🙂

In case you can’t read the titles, they are Just Do Something, by Kevin DeYoung, Love Your God With All Your Mind, by J.P. Moreland, Suffering and the Sovereignty of God , by John Piper and Justin Taylor, and Gigi – God’s Little Princess, by Sheila Walsh.

Home Life, Prayer

3am and All Shall Be Well

April 4, 2012 Andi Meade

3am is a difficult hour to be awake. I’ve heard this from many people, but until you experience it yourself, it’s hard to understand. At 3am, obstacles that seem insignificant during the day suddenly seem insurmountable. Solutions to problems that you’ve previously come up with seem ridiculous, and decisions you’ve made seem faulty.

It’s also one of Eli’s favorite time to eat.

Philip is usually the one to get up with him in the night, but on the nights when I convince him to let me do it, I often find myself back in bed, unable to quiet my mind.

If Satan prowls around like a roaring lion, he certainly sneaks in quietly at 3am, whispering lies in my ear. These lies echo that long ago lie in the Garden of Eden, that lie that comes down to this: God cannot be trusted.

Once I realize what Satan is doing, I try to fight back. I call on all my strength and all my knowledge to defeat him. We battle for awhile, and sometimes he even lets me think I’m winning, only to crush me in the end. And then I realize once again, that I can’t win, I can’t defeat him. I’ve never been able to, I never will be able to. I have to rely entirely, completely on God. And the best weapon that I have against Satan during these battles is Scripture (which is one more reason to commit to memorizing Scripture!).

And so I call on the promises that God has made to me in the Bible. I call on the verses that remind me that God never lies, that He cannot lie (Titus 1:2, Hebrews 6:8), and finally I call on the peace that passes understanding to guard my heart and my mind in Christ (Philippians 4:7), and I slip back into blissful sleep.

At least until a little 3 year old girl pops in my room at 5am, asking if we can go shopping, but that’s another story. 🙂

Uncategorized

Rest and Promises

February 28, 2012 Andi Meade

Every night, Philip and I get Callie Grace and Justus to sleep by reading and singing to them. Justus, who has not yet mastered personal pronouns, will say “Sing to you?” when you tell him it’s bedtime. There’s always a little note of panic in his voice, as if for some reason he’s afraid that we will change our minds and tell him he’s on his own. Even though we’ve never done this, not even when he wakes up multiple times in the night, and each time will ask, “Sing to you?”, to get him back to sleep. Callie Grace likes for us to read her a story and then sing to her. She’s always very concerned about the number of stories and songs that we will read and sing to her, sometimes to the point that she can’t enjoy the story being read to her, out of anxiety that it will be the last one.

Does this at all remind you of your relationship with God?

How many times does He fulfill his promises to us? How many times has He come through for us, led us through the dark places, rejoiced with us in the beautiful places, staying close to us in all circumstances, in every situation? And yet, how frequently do we experience the fear that He is not going to continue? How many needless hours are spent in worry over the future, as if we’ve been set adrift and are now entirely alone?

Jill Phillips is a Christian artist that I have come to love, and she has a song called Daily Bread. Here are the lyrics to it:

There’s a restlessness in the soul of man
Nobody’s tamed it yet
You never fail to keep any promises
But somehow we forget

That you’re always right on time

You feed us all with a silver spoon
And like your foolish kids
We start worrying about what we’re gonna do
When the hunger comes again

But you’re always right on time
With an open hand
You have exactly what I need
Daily bread
Daily bread

You have the wisdom and the patience
We need the grace to see it clear
Too soon and we take it all for granted
Too late is more than we can bear

So you’re always right on time

With an open hand
You have exactly what I need
Daily bread

I have found this song to be incredibly helpful in reminding me of such a simple truth, a truth that the Bible states so explicitly in Hebrews 13:5 – God will never leave us or forsake us.

Callie and Justus finally drift off to sleep when they let go of their fears, and they find rest. And in Christ, so do I.

Church

Gossip

February 22, 2012 Andi Meade

I love to know what’s going on in the lives of those around me. I’m endlessly curious about all the details of their families, their work, their relationships with God, their child-raising techniques, the things that they are interested in, etc. If I wasn’t fascinated by these things, then Facebook would be a dead bore to me. As it is, I can get on Facebook and an hour can go by where nothing productive was accomplished!

That being said, what I’m finding that I need to guard carefully against is gossip, both the sharing and the taking in of it. And this is much harder than it sounds, as gossip comes in all kinds of forms. Besides the very obvious, “Did you hear about…?”, there’s the innocent-sounding prayer requests, the talk that begins with, “I think you should know what ________ is saying, for your own good”, and then there’s the classic, “Can you believe __________ calls themselves a Christian, but they did____________!”.

I can think of few things more destructive then gossip. Most of us have seen it rip apart friendships, families, and churches. Gossip is sinful and therefore evil, yet many of us who call ourselves children of God delight in spreading it. I can call myself out on this one and acknowledge that I’ve had to repent of this particular sin.

I’m wanting to wage war against gossip, in my personal relationship and in my church. What I’m finding is that many women refuse to be vulnerable with each other out of fear of what will be shared with others. Who has not experienced this type of embarrassment? If a person is young in their faith, it could absolutely drive them from church. I’m certain that gossip has to be extinguished in a church before a thriving women’s ministry can be in place.

I came across a great article on this topic by Katherine Walden, and would like to share part of it with you:

“Begin to look for the good and you’ll be surprised what good you will find, even within those who you never have quite found a heart connection. If you train your eye, your ear and your heart to be on alert for the good, you will begin to see the good by default. You’ll see the areas that once bothered you about a person suddenly become traits you can admire rather than cause you irritation. For example, what might appear to be unnecessary perfectionism may actually be a deep desire to lavish their very best on others and God. Assume the best in others and you usually will get the best in return.

When you are in the midst of a group that is intent on malicious gossip, try to swallow fear and attempt to speak the truth in love. By your example, you can turn the tide and build sandbags of edification to keep out the floods. Floods of maliciousness and pettiness wash away the works of God in not only the lives of those that the group gossips about, but also the very group itself! Try not to rebuke but lead by example, bringing up good points about that individual. If the ungodly conversation continues, walk away rather than take part in the tearing down of a brother or sister in Christ. Never listen to a person’s negative report concerning a fellow believer without making sure that person has first gone to that brother or sister in Christ in the hope of bringing reconciliation and healing. ”

Here are a few other quotes I like on this topic:

“What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.”

“Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.”

I would rather play with forked lightning, or take in my hand living wires with their fiery current, than speak a reckless word against any servant of Christ, or idly repeat the slanderous darts which thousands of Christian are hurling on others. ” – A. B. Simpson

“T – Is it true?
H – Is it helpful?
I – Is it inspiring?
N – Is it necessary?
K – Is it kind?
If what I am about to say does not pass those tests, I will keep my mouth shut!” – Alan Redpath

“If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” – Amy Charmichael

Is anyone with me on this?

Home Life

Random Thoughts for the Day

February 20, 2012 Andi Meade

1. I’m embarrassed by how many posts could start with, “As I was eating donuts and drinking Dr. Pepper, I was thinking about…”.

2. I am completely hooked on “The Big Bang Theory”. Especially while eating donuts and drinking Dr. Pepper.

3. I daily question whether I’ll be smart enough to keep up with Callie Grace while homeschooling her. During preschool.

4. Callie has asked me three times today to help her because she “made a huge mess”. She was not exaggerating.

5. I sometimes think that God intends for me to participate in foreign missions. And then I remember that when I see two ants in my house I’m certain the house is infested and I consider moving. I’m not cut out for roughing it.

6. Justus told me again today that he was vacuuming for Jesus.

7. Justus: Can I have a banana? Me: We don’t have any bananas. Justus: Why? Me: (the sound of crickets chirping). Justus: Can I have yogurt? Me: We don’t have any yogurt. Justus: Why? (You can see where this is going…)

8. Lately I’ve been spending all of my free time trying to organize myself so that I can have more free time.

9. I am so ready to decorate for Easter that it’s killing me to wait!

10. I love hearing my husband preach more than I can possibly express, and that I get to be under his teaching three times a week is doing phenomenal things for my walk with Christ.

Church

To My Church Family

February 18, 2012 Andi Meade

This past week Eli spent four days in the hospital, due to complications from RSV. His cough was so bad that he was throwing up anything he ate, and so he finally just stopped eating. When we got to the ER, he was so dehydrated that it took five times to get his IV in because his veins kept collapsing. Seeing your little baby go through something like that is horrifying, as so many can attest.

I stayed with Eli in the hospital, never leaving his side, which meant that I didn’t see Callie Grace or Justus. Since nobody prepares for these things, I had nothing lined up as far as meals, childcare, etc. Philip took the brunt of the stress, trying to be everywhere he was needed, and as usual never complaining about anything. But here’s the remarkable thing:

In those four days, my church family stepped in, in an incredible way. Callie and Justus were loved on and spoiled, completely taken care of by many amazing people, food was supplied, laundry was done, the house was cleaned, and all of this without ever having to ask. Eli and I had over 50 visitors and I was well taken care of with Starbucks, food, and love. Philip and I received countless messages of encouragement and support, and the number of prayers that were said for Eli was truly something to behold.

I would like to say that I was able to witness to many while in the hospital, but the truth is, my church family, you were the witness. You were the love of Christ in action. You amazed the nurses and the rest of the staff with your love for us. I may have invited them to church, but they were able to see in you a true community of believers that gave them a reason to be vulnerable and come.

I truly don’t know how people experience all that life brings, the good and the bad, without a church family. I have never felt more loved, more of a sense of belonging to something so much greater than myself, than I do now.