Month: August 2010

Justus Gary being his happy, happy self!  He now has four teeth in!

Callie Grace playing in the dirt at the church softball game, a little put out, I think, that she wasn’t allowed to play!

Andi’s Journal

August 17, 2010

The psalmist in Psalm 43 is asking God to vindicate him from the ungodly people, from the deceitful and unjust man.  But God, that’s me.  Deceitful and unjust.  And just a plain liar. You are the God I take refuge in, but I know exactly why you forsake me, or rather why I cannot stay in your presence.  Here’s what I need:  send out your light and your truth.  Let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling.  Then I will go to the altar of my God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you, O God.  But no matter how hard I work, I cannot get there without you.  You must prove me wrong, in my doubts, fears, and just plain stupidity.  “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?  Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

Elisabeth Elliot said, “Someone who is suffering as a result of his or her own foolishness or failure may read these words.  These griefs are hard indeed to bear, we feel we might easily have avoided them.  We have no one to blame but ourselves, and there isn’t much consolation there.  Sometimes we imagine that we must bear this kind of trouble alone, but that is a mistake.  The Lamb of God, slain for us, has borne all of our griefs and carried all or our sorrows, no matter what their origin.  All grief and sorrow is the result of sin somewhere along the line, but Christ received them willingly.  It is nothing but pride that keeps me from asking Him to help me to bear the troubles that are my own fault.”

Oswald Chambers asked, “Have you ever heard the Master say something very difficult to you?  If you haven’t I question whether you have ever heard him say anything at all.”  That is so me!  Surely if it is that difficult, I must have totally misunderstood it!  Especially if he asked me to do something that my laziness and embarrassment don’t want me to do, or something that will take me away from something fun, and even sinful.  What a word for me.

Sorry for the rambling of my journal.  It seemed very appropriate today.  🙂

There’s really no possible way to sum up how insane the past month or so has been for me, and since I have been out of commission for so much of it, Philip has had an even crazier time, I’m certain.  Things aren’t resolved yet, medically I mean, but I have many tests scheduled and am feeling more positive about things every day.

My devotion today from Elisabeth Elliot was short, but like my devotion so often is, it was exactly what I needed to hear, and so I wanted to share it.  Nobody can sum things up as well as she can, in my opinion.

“On dark days when the only song we feel like singing is a dirge, we can pray, ‘Let the music of thy promises be on my tongue’ (Psalm 119:72).  This is no tear-jerking ballad of how I’m feeling.  The promises of God will lift me right out of sad sentimentality and put music in my mouth if I will think steadily on them.  Here’s one to sing: ‘Unfailing love enfolds him who trusts in the Lord’ (Psalm 32:10).
Do you feel nothing of the kind?  When did the validity of the Eternal Word rest on the mood of one of His poor children?  Let the promise be the song you sing.  He will hear it and make it true for you.”

I love the idea of the promises of God being the song that I sing, and if I can only get the Wiggles out of my head, I plan to try this. 🙂