When we moved to Colorado from Kentucky, I was pregnant with Justus and I had an 8 month old in tow. I was in great need of Christian women who would come along side me, encourage me, strengthen me, and make me laugh. I was blessed to find this so readily in my new home church.
As I’ve contemplated this recently, I realize that I truly was blessed, and that many women don’t have that opportunity. Women, I must admit, are strange creatures. We need relationships, we thrive, like some beautiful flowers do, when we are among other like-minded women. Yet at the same time, we can be so quick to turn on each other, to wound one another with our cutting words, actions and hidden innuendos. And because so many of us have experienced this, we are rather paranoid of it happening again, and often don’t let our guards down, resulting in a lonely existence.
Having been a part of this before from, I’m ashamed to admit, both sides, I’v been at a bit of a loss as to the reasons for this. Modern psychology attempts to shed it’s light on the topic, throwing around words like low self-esteem, inferiority complex, etc., but in my heart I know the true reason – it’s sin, clear and simple. It’s absolutely sinful to participate in such behavior. And I can say this so point blank because I have had this sin lurking in my heart before. It’s ugly, insidious and dark. It ruins friendships that God ordained, it destroys bible studies and ministries, it divides churches. And yet, for some reason, it remains such a constant in the lives of women.
I’m reading a book called Spiritual Mothering: The Titus 2 Model for Women Mentoring Women, by Susan Hunt. In it she quotes the 18th century poet and historian Matthew Arnold, “If ever the world sees a time when women shall come together purely and simply for the benefit and good of mankind, it will be a power such as the world has never seen.” She then restates it this way: “If ever the world sees a time when Christian women shall come together purely and simply to encourage and equip other women to live for God’s glory, it will be a power such as the world has never seen.”
And that is this reason Satan is so intent on keeping women so firmly entrenched in this sin, I am certain. Imagine if we never gossiped about each other, if we always went immediately to other women if we had any kind of an issue, imagine if we trusted each other with our struggles and our confessions, and never had to try to read between the lines, deciding if someone was angry with us, or was betraying our confidence? And we can have this! It’s ours for the taking, if we can put aside our selfishness, or self-centeredness, and live simply for the glory of God.
I guess this is a challenge, both to myself and the women who might be reading this. Let’s see if this is true, if by doing this we can unleash a power the likes of our communities have never seen.