Month: February 2012

I love to know what’s going on in the lives of those around me. I’m endlessly curious about all the details of their families, their work, their relationships with God, their child-raising techniques, the things that they are interested in, etc. If I wasn’t fascinated by these things, then Facebook would be a dead bore to me. As it is, I can get on Facebook and an hour can go by where nothing productive was accomplished!

That being said, what I’m finding that I need to guard carefully against is gossip, both the sharing and the taking in of it. And this is much harder than it sounds, as gossip comes in all kinds of forms. Besides the very obvious, “Did you hear about…?”, there’s the innocent-sounding prayer requests, the talk that begins with, “I think you should know what ________ is saying, for your own good”, and then there’s the classic, “Can you believe __________ calls themselves a Christian, but they did____________!”.

I can think of few things more destructive then gossip. Most of us have seen it rip apart friendships, families, and churches. Gossip is sinful and therefore evil, yet many of us who call ourselves children of God delight in spreading it. I can call myself out on this one and acknowledge that I’ve had to repent of this particular sin.

I’m wanting to wage war against gossip, in my personal relationship and in my church. What I’m finding is that many women refuse to be vulnerable with each other out of fear of what will be shared with others. Who has not experienced this type of embarrassment? If a person is young in their faith, it could absolutely drive them from church. I’m certain that gossip has to be extinguished in a church before a thriving women’s ministry can be in place.

I came across a great article on this topic by Katherine Walden, and would like to share part of it with you:

“Begin to look for the good and you’ll be surprised what good you will find, even within those who you never have quite found a heart connection. If you train your eye, your ear and your heart to be on alert for the good, you will begin to see the good by default. You’ll see the areas that once bothered you about a person suddenly become traits you can admire rather than cause you irritation. For example, what might appear to be unnecessary perfectionism may actually be a deep desire to lavish their very best on others and God. Assume the best in others and you usually will get the best in return.

When you are in the midst of a group that is intent on malicious gossip, try to swallow fear and attempt to speak the truth in love. By your example, you can turn the tide and build sandbags of edification to keep out the floods. Floods of maliciousness and pettiness wash away the works of God in not only the lives of those that the group gossips about, but also the very group itself! Try not to rebuke but lead by example, bringing up good points about that individual. If the ungodly conversation continues, walk away rather than take part in the tearing down of a brother or sister in Christ. Never listen to a person’s negative report concerning a fellow believer without making sure that person has first gone to that brother or sister in Christ in the hope of bringing reconciliation and healing. ”

Here are a few other quotes I like on this topic:

“What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.”

“Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.”

I would rather play with forked lightning, or take in my hand living wires with their fiery current, than speak a reckless word against any servant of Christ, or idly repeat the slanderous darts which thousands of Christian are hurling on others. ” – A. B. Simpson

“If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” – Amy Charmichael

Is anyone with me on this?

This past week Eli spent four days in the hospital, due to complications from RSV. His cough was so bad that he was throwing up anything he ate, and so he finally just stopped eating. When we got to the ER, he was so dehydrated that it took five times to get his IV in because his veins kept collapsing. Seeing your little baby go through something like that is horrifying, as so many can attest.

I stayed with Eli in the hospital, never leaving his side, which meant that I didn’t see Callie Grace or Justus. Since nobody prepares for these things, I had nothing lined up as far as meals, childcare, etc. Philip took the brunt of the stress, trying to be everywhere he was needed, and as usual never complaining about anything. But here’s the remarkable thing:

In those four days, my church family stepped in, in an incredible way. Callie and Justus were loved on and spoiled, completely taken care of by many amazing people, food was supplied, laundry was done, the house was cleaned, and all of this without ever having to ask. Eli and I had over 50 visitors and I was well taken care of with Starbucks, food, and love. Philip and I received countless messages of encouragement and support, and the number of prayers that were said for Eli was truly something to behold.

I would like to say that I was able to witness to many while in the hospital, but the truth is, my church family, you were the witness. You were the love of Christ in action. You amazed the nurses and the rest of the staff with your love for us. I may have invited them to church, but they were able to see in you a true community of believers that gave them a reason to be vulnerable and come.

I truly don’t know how people experience all that life brings, the good and the bad, without a church family. I have never felt more loved, more of a sense of belonging to something so much greater than myself, than I do now.