Category: Home Life

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about memories. I know that seems like a weird thing to say, but in the last few weeks many things from my past have re-introduced themselves to me. I was thinking that my memories are like all the boxes of pictures I have stored, hundreds and hundreds of pictures, in boxes, crates, and picture albums. A person has to decide which pictures to put out for others to see, where they would fit most appropriately in our lives, and even who we want to see them. And then, when we do show people our pictures, there’s no way for the person to actually be in that moment, seeing what I saw when I took the picture.

I’ve admitted to being a horrible journalist, and that I fear, I know, someday all of my memories will be lost. A friend of mine called me a few days ago to share some wonderful news. This was a friend that I went to high-school with, went to England with, and even lived with for awhile. In that brief conversation (brief, because I was trying to chase Callie Grace down to put some clothes on her, while she was shouting “naked baby! naked baby), so many memories came flooding back to me, and memories for me have tastes, smells, textures. I remembered traveling England with her in a train eating bread, cheese, and pickled onions, because we were so poor! I remembered the smell of the dorm we lived in in England, the laughter and love there that healed me after a devastating few months previously.

And then there are the horrible memories, the sad memories. What does one do with those? To ignore them, lock them away, would be foolish, if not even dangerous. To dwell on them would be a waste of the time we are given, and would most likely drive you into depression. To dwell on them would build resentment and even hate for the people involved, locking yourself in your own jail cell.

As I sat and pondered these thoughts in the quiet moments (okay, fine, in Starbucks) I realized that a person has to come to terms with all of their memories. Each memory, beautiful or exquisitely painful, is like a single thread, weaving a tapestry through our lives. If a person believes in a sovereign God, which I do, this is easier to do, I think. And in the moments that we are actually living in, again beautiful or so painful you want to curl up and die, it’s only the comfort of knowing that God is, indeed, sovereign, that can keep us going, keep us praising, keep us thankful.

Once again I find myself with too many things to write about, so this will be a collection of short stories.

First of all, my sister-in-law, who lives here in Denver, is an amazing, strong, athletic, busy woman. We have been trying for the nearly two years that Philip and I have been here to get together, and finally this past week we were able to meet for dinner. At the end of the meal, we agreed to try to get together once a month.

Did I mention Lisa is strong and athletic? So the next day I get a text message from her saying, “Hey, let’s go do indoor rock climbing. I’m serious. It will be fun!”. I wrote back and said, “Sure! But first let me make sure Philip has taken out a life insurance policy on me”, which she, being the smart lawyer that she is, noted that she didn’t think life insurance would cover such a thing. Good to know. However, I’m excited to try this.

Next story: Callie Grace is superhuman. I’m certain of it. Nothing will keep her in her room if she wants out, which is causing many interesting and hilarious stories. One funny thing is that she seems to just play in her room until she falls asleep. We have found her in all sorts of places in her room, in all states of dress and undress. Last night she was laying face down on her bed with her tennis shoes on. The other night she was curled up on the floor with her pull-up and pink cowboy boots on. Today, when we went to check on her after nap time, she was curled up beside her toy box, covered in blankets, stuffed animals, and other assorted toys, fast asleep.

Next story: Today at church, both my children entertained the audience, along with Callie Grace’s best friend Charleston, by praising the Lord in dance. I mean, they held nothing back. As we sit on the front row, this was for all the congregation to see, but they were not in the least bit shy. They were worshiping with all of their precious little hearts, regardless of what anyone else thought. Having been raised extremely conservative, it’s a big step for me to even sway to the music!

And then my last story: The Lord has gifted me with the ability to work with people in a way that they are comfortable talking to me, and has granted me knowledge on topics such as mental illnesses, addictions, family difficulties, etc. I’ve decided to put these skills back into use on a limited basis here, in my free time, and so I told the Lord to lead people to me who were struggling with these issues.

Once again, He took another path.

He has brought me people, for certain, but He has taken me completely out of my comfort zone and brought me people who are searching for Him, who have no relationship with Him, who are lost. This is just plain terrifying to me. I want so much to pass them right on to Philip, who has such a gift for reaching the lost, where as I tend to come across sarcastic and, well, stupid, when I’m uncomfortable or nervous. However, I know, I KNOW, that when I am weak is when He is strongest.

And for those of you not on Facebook regularly, I have to retell this story. Callie Grace and Justus were in her room, and I heard Justus let out a loud cry. I went in there to find Callie sitting on her bed, looking innocent. I said, “Callie, what happened to Justus?”. She said, “I don’t know, I was just having my Bible study.” Very interesting, since there was no Bible around her. Clever, clever, freakishly clever girl.

So Philip and I, clearly, are not prepared for a disaster. Not that we could ever give the impression of being the “I can survive in the wilderness with duck-tape and matches” kind. One only has to mention the word “camping” to me, and I start to shudder and head for the nearest Starbucks. However, living in the mountains of Colorado, a person really needs to know some basic survival skills. You know, like keeping batteries in your flashlights, and having a source of fire to lights candles and to, well, start a fire.

I suppose we got a little lazy regarding this because last winter we survived storm after storm without ever losing power. At one point we had 42 inches of snow piled up on our deck. So we felt rather invincible. We didn’t consider that it wouldn’t be the weather that would knock out our power, but rather a person driving too fast, wrapping their car around a pole, causing a chain of events that left over 1200 people in Evergreen without power. This happened about a week and a half ago.

After this occurred, the next 36 hours turned into a comedy of errors. The power went out at 4pm on a Friday. We were in the middle of transitioning Callie’s crib into a big-girl bed. Not worried, we called the power company, and they told us the power would be back on at 7:36pm. Seriously, that’s what they said. So we hung out, played with the kids, made a little fire, expecting our heat to come on in no time. At 8pm, it wasn’t on, so we called again, and they told us it would be 11pm. So we gathered all the candles we could find (four), found our flashlights (one), bundled up the babies and got them to sleep. Justus I think could sleep out in the snow, he hates being hot, so he went to sleep right away. Callie hates being cold, and also, she now had the freedom to get out of bed at will, which she did. A lot.

At 11pm, still now power, so we call back and they say it will be on at 2:45am. Now it’s starting to get really cold, but we decide to stick it out for awhile. Philip and I got into bed, lit the decorative candles above our bed (just asking for trouble, right? Luckily, no trouble from that fire hazard). At 1pm, the fire alarm starts beeping, you know, the sound it makes when your battery is dead. Seriously? The one night in almost two years where we have open flames around our house, and the fire alarm dies?

Shortly after that, we were sitting in bed reading (there was no way I was sleeping by this time, since we had candles in both the babies’ rooms, and my imagination takes crazy flight the later it gets). We then hear the sound of a creature in our kitchen. I promise, it sounded like a raccoon in our pantry, it was so loud. So Philip and I tiptoe into the kitchen, armed with a flashlight that is dying. We realize it has to be a mouse, because when it heard us it stopped making noise. I’m standing on a chair in the dining room, telling Philip to take care of it. He asked me how he was supposed to take care of it without power. I asked how he would take care of it with power. He acknowledged that I had a good point. We decide there were no good options at this time, and run back to our room.

At 3am, still no power, so we call and are told it won’t be on until 8am. By this time, the house was frigid, so we called the only motel in Evergreen, played the “I have two babies in diapers” card, and got one of the few rooms available. We bundle up the kids, go to the motel, sleep for maybe 45 minutes, and then the kids are up. I call about the power and am told it won’t be on until 8pm that night.

Here’s where it takes all of your will power to stay calm, find the humor, and assure the kids that everything is ok, and that we’re just on an adventure. So we head to the house, pick up a few things, and go to Philip’s brother’s house down in Denver. We were able to come home that night, but by that time we hadn’t slept in over 36 hours, and were at the hysterical part of the lack of sleep.

I realize this is a long entry, but it’s just a brief synopsis of the craziness. We found out that night that Callie can climb out of a pack-n-play and over a child safety gate, making no noise, with her blanket and baby in tow, which means she had to plan it. One minute you think she’s asleep in the next room, and then suddenly she’s standing in front of you with a grin. Dude. She’s two.

It was also a reminder that, in most trying circumstances like these, you have the choice of finding the humor in it and thanking God for what you do have, or getting extremely frustrated and irritable, which will lead to the kids being irritable and frightened. It’s also a reminder that, really, some basic survival skills and necessary items for power outages would really be the wise way to go.

So now I keep a good stock of Dr. Pepper in the fridge. I’ve learned my lesson.

I’m going to attempt to write a blog while the babies are up and running around like the little maniacs they are (I mean that in a good, loving way, of course). I’m doing this because I’m in the middle of an excellent novel, and I know as soon the kids do go to bed, I will be lured away from anything productive to figuring out what the characters in my book are looking for in Scotland. That being said, I’m certain this blog will be interrupted many times with a play-by-play of what the kids are doing. For example, Callie Grace just found the salt shaker and made a little mound of salt in the kitchen. Lovely.

So the first non-fiction book I picked to read is called “Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream”, by David Platt. Philip pointed out the irony of the title, since on the very top of the cover it says “New York Times Bestseller”. I will save my review until I’m finished with the book, but so far I’m enjoying it greatly, with the exception of his obsession with cushioned chairs. You’ll have to read it to understand what I mean.

(Justus is pushing Callie Grace around in her baby stroller, while she’s waving like a princess.)

So far I’m doing well with my resolutions. Naturally, the ones on exercising and drinking water will take awhile to work up to (say, a year or so), but other than that, I’m doing well. And one of the great things about my daily bible reading is that I always know the date now. I’m not going to lie, at times I’ve been in the wrong month, much less day of the week, so this is a real bonus for me!

As for personal hygiene, I have been brushing my teeth at least twice a day, but what I want to know is, do I still need to wash my face at night if I don’t put on make-up that day? I’m thinking no, but is that cheating? I’m a rule-follower to the extreme, you know.

(There was a pause that you were unaware of due to having to go get Justus out of the bathtub. He loves to climb in, and gets stuck.)

Callie Grace can say her ABC’s all by herself, which I find amazing and kinda creepy. Also, she forgets nothing, so if you tell her at night that you’re going to make pancakes in the morning, you must keep to your word because she won’t forget. Justus has for the most part stopped crawling and is walking everywhere, making him quite proud of himself, judging from the look on his face. I’m happy to say that he also likes his alone time, which has come in handy for Callie, because he was driving her batty with his constant presence. Unfortunately his love for all things electrical, including outlets, has not wavered, and his ability to pop off the safety caps has increased. What a boy he is! Both of them think we have two homes now, one here and one at church. Callie walks around the church as if she owns it. Really, they should put her on the greeting committee.

Our Christmas decorations will officially come down tomorrow, as Philip has picked January 5th as the date for that occasion. See his blog on the 12 Days of Christmas to understand. But not to worry, all of my Valentine stuff goes up on January 14, giving me exactly a month to enjoy them. See how much fun it is when you just go ahead and embrace your own eccentricity? 🙂

Now I really must go rescue Justus, since Callie is trying to put make-up on him.

So it is January 1st, and I’m, as usual, bizarrely excited about my resolutions. I love goals. I love making lists just so I can cross things off that I’ve accomplished. (This, by the way, is why I want an actual planner, not the planner that comes on my phone. Philip.) I have my list written on a clean, crisp white piece of paper. Philip had his emailed to himself on his phone. We shared them with each other at midnight last night, after attempting to decipher what in heaven’s name Dick Clark was saying. I digress.

My Resolutions:
1. Daily Bible reading. I love doing this. I have no idea why I struggle to keep up with it. My ESV bible comes with a reading plan that is easy, interesting, doesn’t leave you stuck in Deuteronomy for weeks, and takes about 15 minutes. This one is very important to me.

2. Read through at least one non-fiction book every two weeks. This should be easy. I can rip through a 500 page novel in less than a day, but novels are easy to read, take no thought, and I don’t have to process what it means in regards to my life. So I’m going to write on my blog what book I’m reading, when I start and when I finish it. Sort of an accountability thing. Which leads me to…

3. Blog at least 4 times a week. Every year I put journaling (is that not a word? My spell check is telling me it’s not. I’m certain it is. Am I smarter than Microsoft Word?) on my list. Every year I fail within the first week. I hate journaling. I love buying journals. I love the idea. But blogging seems to come easier to me, and it really is a journal for me.

4. Write a book. I have no idea which subject, fiction, non-fiction, for children, for women, etc. I have so many ideas bouncing around in my head, they collide in a spectacular fashion, and I’ve decided this will be the year that I write a book.

5 and 6 go together. Exercise 4 times a week, drink 8 glasses of water. Blah. But it’s a must.

7. Personal hygiene has dropped far down on my list of priorities since having children. I have a voice nagging in my ear every night (who said this?) that if I don’t wash my make-up off it adds seven years to my life. Does that mean every night? Does that mean I’ll live seven years longer? Does that mean I’ll look 60 when I’m 35? Regardless, I plan to do this. And floss. Again, blah.

8. Create a keep a schedule for a well-ordered home. I read a book once that was written for busy moms, to create a schedule for cleaning. That way, everything doesn’t pile up and have to been done in one day. I did this for awhile before I got sick this summer, and I really liked it.

9. Return phone calls or texts within 12 hours. Really, I’m going to do this, so I promise if you call and leave a message, I will return your call (Erin, Jen, the U.S. Department of Education, etc).

10. Memorize one scripture a week.

11. Daily remind myself what my purpose here on earth is, and live it. This may seem silly, but it’s easy for me to start thinking that my purpose is to make sure the bottles are clean, the kids eat more than just macaroni and cheese, and that people like me. But I’m here to glorify God and to know Him. I have to remind myself of that every day.

12. Daily try to find a way to make Philip’s life easier and happier. This is a fun one. He’s always doing little things for me, thoughtful things that show me he treasures me and loves me. I want to make sure I’m doing this as well. The life of a pastor is hectic, stressful, filled with temptation and struggles. I’m here to help him, encourage him, love on him, make him laugh, and someday, cook for him. 🙂

13. Try daily not to complain. I don’t mean just the complaining that I do out-loud, but the thoughts in my head. This is definitely where the memorizing of scripture will come in handy.

14. Continue to have daily family worship. Since Callie Grace and Justus assume now that this is a part of life, as much as eating and bathing and going to church, this is not a hard one at all. Getting Callie Grace off of one particular hymn that she’s taking a liking to is much more difficult.

15. Twice a week send an encouraging card or email. Again, this is something I love doing. I just want to do it more regularly.

So there is my list. Now, is anybody going to share theirs?

With only a few days left of 2010, it’s time to make New Year’s resolutions. I love doing this, and I’m pretty sure I started at around the age of 3, when it was my resolution to collect as many stuffed animals as possible. In my excitement, I assumed everyone did this, and was a little shocked to learn over the years that a great many people do not.

The reason so many people don’t make resolutions is a valid one, I suppose. They assume that they won’t keep them and will just be disappointed in themselves. Or they assume it will just be too much work. However, this has not slowed me down one bit. And I usually go for bold, outrageous resolutions, as well as smaller things I really must do, like taking my make-up off every night (what a chore!).

The thing is, the year is going to pass, whether I’m aiming for something or not. And I love the idea of the impossible, and I’m surrounded by the impossible actually occurring. The forgiveness of sins, the ability to start each day new, the fact that I’m married to Philip, the fact that two children like Callie and Justus not only exist, but they are mine.

So many things about being a Christian should be impossible, but by the grace of God they are not. That’s why I love the idea of the magical, the unattainable, the ridiculous. With this in mind, no day could possibly be boring. Just the fact that God is revealing Himself to us daily, in so many places, is miraculous and confounding, and worth getting out of bed for.

So I’m compiling my list of resolutions carefully, with great excitement over what 2011 will hold. My list will be posted shortly.

What about you? What are you going to aim for this year?

Tonight Philip and I were able to go Christmas shopping for the babies, while Callie Grace got to spend time with her best friend, Charleston, and Justus got to hang out with his best friend, Uncle Pete, who spoils him with peanut butter cups.

Christmas shopping for the kids is possibly the most fun I can imagine. Philip and I went down every toy aisle, so excited to find toys they would like. Maybe it seems like we waited a little late to do our shopping, but even now, having to wait until Saturday for them to open their presents, is killing me!

Here is something that puzzles me. So many people I know find Christmas to be a hassle. I considered that maybe it’s a money issue for some, but again, we are living on one income with two babies, and the one income is a pastor’s income. So I can’t think that money is what makes it a hassle. Of course, I love Christmas to the point of an obsession, so I’m no judge of the frustrations that apparently come with it, but I’m also married to a man who is so excited to make Christmas fun, and holy, and memorable.

So am I missing something? Is there some part of Christmas in particular that causes so much stress, leading people to sigh loudly in the middle of Safeway and say, “I can’t wait until Christmas is over” (blasphemy, in my world!).

Along the same lines, I tried to explain to Callie Grace that Santa comes down the chimney. She looked appalled. I don’t think she’s ready for all the particulars yet. Also, Santa is going to have to bring her, and now me, a new spin toothbrush. She found my new one that I had thankfully not used yet, and brushed her teeth for about 2 hours today.

As for Justus, he keeps trying to follow in his sister’s footprints and steal ornaments off the tree. Also he will climb anything he can find. And eat anything he can find. To say I love my babies is such an understatement! I try to imagine the fact that God loves them more than I do, but my mind can’t wrap around that.

Sorry for the randomness of this post. It’s almost 10pm, which is at least 2 hours past my bedtime. I do love my babies, but keeping up with them is exhausting! 🙂

Today I reconnected with a dear friend, possibly the friend I’ve known for the longest time. We went to daycare together before first grade. We roomed together in college. She’s more like family to me, as I have few memories of my life when I didn’t know her. The sad thing is, she has tried multiple times to get in touch with me. Luckily, she knows me well enough to not be offended and not give up. (I once told a friend I’d call her right back. That was in August. I called her back in October. True story.)

This is a weakness of mine. I’d blame it on having two babies and being super busy, but I’ve struggled with this weakness long before I had children. I’m not sure if it’s laziness, a dislike of the phone, or some weird phobia, but the problem is that the longer you go without talking to someone, the more you have to catch up on, and just the idea of that wears me out. So yeah, it must be laziness.

Somehow, certainly because the Lord knew me before I was formed, He has blessed me with these amazing friends who don’t give up on me. I have no idea why, unless it’s for my sparkling personality, which I seriously doubt, since I consider myself rather boring with a weird sense of humor that pops up at the most inappropriate times.

So to all my dear friends who call me and often wait in vain for a return call, despite my good intentions (today I checked my voicemail. I had 15 messages. For shame, Andi, for shame.), my plan is to work on this weakness of mine, and to show you all how much I truly love you. Just don’t be surprised if I answer the phone with “Buddy the elf, what’s your favorite color?”. Elf is permanently etched in my brain, due to a certain two-year-old.

I had to take a brief hiatus from blogging, due to the insanity that has been the last few weeks. Mostly the insanity was of my own making, until we left town for over a week. However, I’m back with lots of stories, Christmas excitement to share, and of course, the newest installment of Twilight to watch while I blog. Life is good.

Things I learned on our vacation:

1. I have amazing, well-behaved children. We were constantly in awe of how they just kept adapting to new situations. I mean, they did have their moments and their occasional breakdowns, but then so did I!

2. I have learned that Callie Grace has the most random thoughts in the morning when she wakes up. A few nights she slept on an air mattress next to our bed, and one morning she woke me up by saying, “Santa brings presents?”.

3. Once you open up the world of Santa Claus to a 2 year old, there’s no going back.

4. One must be careful when introducing all the characters involved in Christmas, as it can get confusing to small children. Callie keeps calling Santa Joseph. She also tends to mistake anyone wearing a Santa hat for Santa Claus himself.

5. As proof that Philip cares way more for his babies than any earthly things, he left his diploma on the top of the car while getting the babies in their car seats. Twice.

6. As proof that the world is still full of good people, both times his diploma flew away, a Good Samaritan found it. One time we were in a parking lot and he was able to hand it to us. The second time it flew off the car as his mom drove away from the airport. Amazingly, someone found it, called the seminary and gave them his information to give to Philip. So many Christmas miracles!

7. No matter how well-behaved your children are, you will still leave a path of destruction everywhere you go. It’s inevitable.

8. People on planes are almost always kind and sympathetic when there is a crying baby sitting near them. At least, if they are thinking mean thoughts, they keep them to themselves. My guess is almost everyone has been in the same situation.

9. Traveling with Philip is awesome. He is so very calm, so laid-back, and so certain that any change of plans (like missing flights) all falls under the category of the providence of God, completely taking the stress and worry out of unexpected events.

10. My children are allergic to the South. Justus has never been sick a day in his life, and both he and Callie Grace struggled with allergies.

11. When you have relationships with people that are firmly grounded in Christ, then no matter how much time has passed, they are still your family in Christ.

12. Callie Grace is obsessed with the movie “Elf”. Not sure what that has to do with traveling, except I’ve watched it in multiple states now.

13. When your luggage makes it to your destination a day before you do, improvising can be fun. As long as you have extra diapers.

14. Even on trips, Callie Grace still needs her alone time, shutting herself in a room by herself, and saying “bye bye mommy”. I totally respect that.

15. Waiting in the airport for five hours with two small children is not bad at all when the airport has a play ground in it and a Starbucks.

16. The Bible Belt is a wonderful place. When we got to the airport in Kentucky, they were playing Christian music over the intercom. Weird, but fantastic.

17. Callie Grace can now sing Silent Night all by herself. I discovered that she sings herself to sleep.

18. Also, Callie Grace will play Ring Around the Rosie with anyone who volunteers. Only she says “mashes, mashes, we all fall down.”

19. Justus is grandpa’s boy. Unfortunately he’s so big that my dad’s back will never be the same from carrying him, but grandpa said it was well worth it.

20. Lastly, there is nothing, absolutely nothing as wonderful as coming home.

So now I need some feedback. I want to hear what your favorite Christmas movie, desert, and songs are. Really. If for some reason you can’t leave a comment, email it to me at andimeade@hotmail.com. Also, I totally need some recipes. Spelled out clearly. As in, start with, take the pans out of the cabinet. 🙂

I feel that I must do the obligatory blog on Thanksgiving, not that it’s hard to do, but it can get rather sentimental and dull.  Regardless, here is my attempt at expressing my thankfulness.

There are so many things I’m thankful for, some more serious than others.  I’m thankful that last night, when Callie Grace went to bed at 7pm, Philip suggested we lay down for a few minutes.  I slept until 7:30 this morning, with the exception of a brief hour interlude where I ate oreo cookies and milk and watched a Sherlock Holmes episode with Philip at 3am.

I’m thankful for my wonderful, beautiful, bizarre children.  I’m thankful that I love the Michael W. Smith version of Jingles Bells, and therefore did not want to bash my head against the window when I was forced to listen to it about 20 times in a row in the car today on the way to Philip’s brother’s house.  Well, I wasn’t forced, but who could resist Callie’s enthusiastic singing and her loud proclamation of “Once again!” when the song is over?  Not I, and certainly not Philip!  Callie played so well with her little cousin Logan, except for the one time when he tried to take her hockey stick from her, and she made an illegal hockey move by hitting him in the head.  In all fairness, his was an illegal hockey move too.  Obviously she did not get her sports skills from me.

Justus smiled and played, tumbled around, ate and babbled, and when he had enough, he spread himself out on the carpet and just laid there for a good 15 minutes, wide awake, just chillin.  He totally got that from me.

And then of course there’s Philip to be thankful for, but no words could sum up what I’m thankful for regarding him and our marriage.  I try and try, and fail, to express my love and adoration for him.

And in random order, here are some other things I’m so very thankful for: family – both the fairly normal and the crazy ones,  music, books, Starbucks, gift cards for books and Starbucks, the kind of laughter where you think you might completely make a fool of yourself, making a fool of yourself, friends that really get you, pie, chocolate, forgiveness, Christmas Vacation, being spoiled by Philip, emails, the fact that I’ve accepted that I live in a place where there is actually a lion season, watching Sherlock Holmes at 3am, breakfast pastries, sleeping, sleeping babies, my DVR, finally recognizing and embracing my own eccentricity, Philip’s dance moves, Callie’s dance moves, Justus laughing himself to sleep, those rare moments when you really, really get the mystery and majesty of God and you want to cry and laugh at the same time.  This list could get long and boring (some of you are saying “It could?” sarcastically.  I know who you are.)  ((Not really)).  There are just so many things to give thanks for, even the things that bring pain.  I’m trying to be more intentional in giving thanks for what I have, and in teaching my children to do the same. Which means I have to cut back on the whining and self-pity, and I must say I’m getting better at that.  Today when I discovered that Starbucks was closed, I had a very brief meltdown and reminded myself it will be open tomorrow.  See, progress.

Happy Thanksgiving!