Category: Parenting

Parenting, Uncategorized

Donuts and Discipline

Andi Meade

I recently had a discussion with a friend about how frustrating it is to have to repeat the same instructions, warnings and threats to my children time and time again. I said, with a touch of righteous indignation, that I know they are bright children, and I don’t understand how they can keep making foolish decisions. Of course, they are only 2 and 3 (Eli doesn’t count yet, plus so far all of his decision have been spot on :)), so the choices and decisions I’m talking about are choosing not to share, not thinking about anyone else except themselves, getting into things they know they shouldn’t, etc. Trying to remain calm while explaining to Callie Grace and Justus, yet again, that they cannot jump from the top bunk to the floor, or take all the clothes in my closet off the hangers, or take the toy that someone else has simply because someone else has it, is exhausting and trying, and I’m sorry to say that at times the tone of my voice during these discussions does not denote love and patience.

The morning after this conversation, as I’m drinking my Dr. Pepper and eating my donuts (despite the donut intervention that has been staged, but that is another story), I’m planning my day and preparing myself for all the day holds with a 3 month old, 2 year old and 3 year old. I’m praying for the wisdom, joy and patience (always a dangerous prayer, and yet again another story), and it hits me: I am so often the spiritual equivalent of a toddler! Only it’s really so much worse, since the choices and decisions I make often have greater consequences. How often does God give me the same instructions, in writing, in a song, in wise words from godly people, only to have me nod my head in agreement and go right on ahead and do what I want? And how often does He have to discipline me in love, sometimes severely, just to watch me step in the same hole over and over and over again?

The Lord taught me an incredible lesson that morning. His patience is never-ending. He disciplines me because He loves me. He will not give up on me, and no stupid choice I make will ever change His love for me. I surely grieve Him with my sinful heart, but day after day, He continues to stay right by my side, walking with me and teaching me. His grace and mercy are new every morning. And through His grace and mercy, this is exactly how I want to be with my children, Of course, I’m human, so my patience will fail and my own selfishness will get in the way, and there will be days that I feel certain I’m failing my children by not being a godly mother. But Christ picks me up, and we start over again. And again, and again, and again.

Home Life, Parenting

Sleep, Interrupted

Andi Meade

Philip and I have been blessed to have two great sleepers in Callie and Justus. Not that I think it was all luck, we definitely established early routines and expectations that have helped, and Callie and Justus both go to bed easily and sleep through the night, getting up around 7ish. I know Eli’s arrival will blow this all apart for a while, especially since we will be moving Justus into Callie’s room to make space for the baby.

For now though, sleep routines have been great and easy, so when nights like last night come a long, it really messes with me, and reminds me how fortunate I am! Callie Grace had a hard time going to bed, due to Philip not getting home until hours after her bedtime. She really thrives on routine and both kids do better when both mom and dad are home to participate in the bedtime rituals. She finally went to sleep and I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that at least she would sleep in this morning. Around 1am, I hear her get up, open her door, come into our room, and ask for daddy. Philip immediately gets up and gets her something to drink, and tucks her back into bed. 30 minutes later she’s up again, and Philip goes back to put her in bed and comfort her. She comes out an hour or so later and I take over, causing her great distress – “Is daddy ok?”. It takes a few minutes to comfort her, tell her that daddy is fine and that we will have snacks and watch Dora in the morning (both requested and really not appropriate for 3am). She asked that the door be left open, so I go back to bed for about 20 minutes, and hear her calling for me. I go back, and she asks me if daddy is going to get her a puppy dog, and tells me that she wants to name her puppy Chocolate Chip, and that she doesn’t want to go to bed. By this time it’s 4:30am, and I haven’t seen 4:30am with Callie Grace in probably two years!

As far as I could tell, nothing was wrong. I think she must have had a bad dream and it woke her up, then she wanted to see daddy, and then she was awake and ready to start her day. The funny thing was that by the time I was certain she was back to sleep, it was after 5am and I was awake with baby Eli doing his early morning gymnastics! It’s now almost 8am and Callie is still sleeping, however Justus is up and trying to get into Callie’s room to play with her. It has the potential to be a long day!

Home Life, Parenting

Pregnancy Woes!

Andi Meade

I’ve reached that weird stage of pregnancy where you don’t physically feel like doing much due to movements being awkward, ligament pain, etc., but at the same time feeling a great need to organize and clean my entire house, top to bottom. These two desires, to sit around and do as little as possible or to do as much as I can fit in, war with each other and often leave things looking half done, mostly because they are. Today I got crazy motivated and started cleaning out my kitchen cabinets, then felt tired, hot and uncomfortable and sat down with my glass of water (another story) and my pile of current books from the library, leaving my kitchen looking like Callie and Justus got a hold of it (which really is not a good example, because when I go to find them, they are cleaning their rooms, putting up their toys, and “dusting” with a container of wipes half gone!).

I’m at 32 weeks now, and have decided that I’m really done being pregnant. That being said, I pray that baby Eli waits to make an appearance until he’s good and ready, but feel that with the amount of food I’ve been eating (I think Philip has some concern about this, probably due to the number of trips he’s made recently to Taco Bell, and the number of grilled cheese sandwiches he’s had to make me at midnight!), Eli’s going to set some kind of record for birth weight. I’ve left that cute, 2nd trimester behind, and have entered the last weeks where I can’t sleep, wear Philip’s clothes instead of mine, and can no longer get Callie and Justus in and out of their car seats without serious issues, which aren’t pretty!

These last weeks will go by fast, this I know, and there are so many wonderful things going on in the Meade household that I hate to wish the time away, but we are ready to make eye-contact with Eli, and I’m ready to get back to my Dr. Pepper diet! (Tomorrow’s story).

Parenting

God’s Sense of Humor

Andi Meade

I have always loved the idea of getting up in the morning and having my quiet time with God. I love this idea in the same way I love the idea of keeping my laundry caught up, learning to cook, and stopping my wild addiction to Dr. Pepper. In other words, I love this idea very much, but so far I have been unsuccessful at it. Of course, my quiet time with God is far more important than any of my other goals, and I’ve been praying that God would give me the energy and desire to get out of bed early and meet with Him.

He took a different path.

Instead of giving me the energy and desire, he passed that right along to Callie Grace. Since moving to her big girl bed, she’s now up in the middle of the night. And by middle of the night I mean 5:30am. And so of course, so am I. At that time of the morning, Callie is content to sit and watch her Bible Songs video, or Dora, and so I’m left to my own devices. It took me about 3 mornings of this to realize that, as usual, I was an idiot and missed the opportunity that was dropped in my lap. So now, as Callie is quietly sitting in the living room, I sit at the dining room table and meet with God.

I would be lying if I said this gets easier every day. In fact, it does not. But that really signifies nothing, does it? It’s a sacrifice for me, sure, but I’m fairly certain that sacrifices are required of us, and also, the benefits far outweigh the cost.

Yesterday I was reading a book on managing your home, and I came across this sentence: “If you cannot schedule quiet time with the Lord and keep it daily, you will not be able to schedule the rest of the day.” Talk about a slap in the face! As I thought about it, I realized how absolutely true that was. I can say that this is especially true for stay at home moms.

I have argued with God that I would just fit in my quiet time with Him during the day when the kids napped, or after they went to bed. Isn’t it a foolish thing to argue with God? My devotions were hit and miss, at best, and I cannot afford to have a on-again, off-again relationship with God. I’m studying the life of David in my Bible study, and it starts out with the story of Saul. What is so interesting to me about Saul is that he would partially obey God. This hit me hard, because I started thinking about how often I can say the same thing about myself. And Saul had good excuses for the times he didn’t fully obey God, as do I. But excuses don’t draw you nearer to God, they don’t make you a faithful servant, and they almost always are an attempt to get away with being lazy or self-centered.

Now, I’m not saying that other people cannot be faithful at having their devotions in the middle of the day or at night, but 33 years have proved that I cannot. So, if anyone out there would like to join me at 5:30am to have their quiet time with God, just let me know. I’d be more than happy to call you and spread the cheer.