Category: Prayer

Today I had the opportunity to have an honest, beautiful discussion with a dear friend of mine. We have taken separate paths since college, and we came to understand today that if we choose to, our friendship can only be enhanced by our differences, not diminished.

Today I had the privilege of having another dear friend call me out of worry, afraid that somehow she had hurt me, and could not let another minute go by before she rectified it. What a beautiful Christian witness, and how blessed I am to have such a friend in my life. She was wrong in that in no way had she hurt me, but she cares for me so much, she couldn’t take the chance that she had.

Today it hit me that I’m connecting with a sister that, due to circumstances, some beyond our control and some not, I hardly know. This is a prayer answered, a prayer that I have been praying for so long, refusing to give up. And to know that she is not only my biological sister but also my sister in Christ is almost more than I can comprehend.

Today Callie Grace decided that she wanted to pray, both during worship and for all of our meals. This is her prayer: “Dear God, thank you, food, Aunta.” (Aunt Erin. I have no idea why she calls her Aunta). And then this afternoon: “Dear God, thank you, food, Ana” (Philip’s mom). I should note that Callie always thanks the Lord for food, even when we aren’t eating.

Today Philip called me from Borders to ask if there were any specific books I wanted. Just because. And of course he knows there are always specific books I want. I listed a few, and he bought me all of them. I’m so spoiled!

Today I rejoiced over a friend who is facing a tough, painful situation, and is somehow using it to make something beautiful, to glorify God, and to seek His guidance. And also maybe to get me to move to Oklahoma. 🙂

Today I played peek-a-boo with Justus for a good 30 minutes, with his delighted giggles warming my heart so much that tears came to my eyes, which prompted Callie Grace to come over, pat my face, say, “What’s wrong, mama?” And then to say, “It’s okay, mama”, and pat me on the back.

I can’t think of any possible way today could have gotten any better!

I usually end most days and most weeks on happy notes.  How could I not, with Philip, Callie Grace, and Justus in my life?
However, in the past few days I feel that I’ve been carrying a heavy heart.  This is not something to be ashamed of, because if we truly do carry each others burdens, then we will carry heavy hearts.  This past week has been a week of sad information.  My nephew Ryan is a fighter pilot in the Navy, and is currently stationed on the USS George Washington, which is right in the middle of the chaos between North and South Korea.  I know I have to trust his fate to the Lord, but my heart is heavy for two reasons: first, he’s in a very dangerous place and I love him dearly.  Second, I don’t know if he’s saved,and I’m embarrassed and ashamed to admit I have failed to truly share the Gospel with him, in black and white.  This weighs on me so very much.

Later in this past week, I found out that one of my dearest childhood friends suffered a miscarriage, her second in a year.  I grieved so much with her over those losses, as if there has been no time or distance lost between us.  How can anyone endure the loss of two babies in a year?  And of course the answer is no one.  We aren’t called to endure it, especially not alone.

Yesterday a precious member of our youth group lost her best friend that she grew up with to a hunting accident.  Those of us who have lost precious ones know that when something like this happens, you feel shattered, and for teenagers it is harder than most.

Today at church I met a new, sweet couple that have just moved here.  I asked if they had children, and this beautiful, sweet lady looked at me with tears in her eyes and said they’d recently experienced a miscarriage.  I wanted to pack them up and bring them home with me, and spend the whole day loving on them.  But of course they would think me odd.  Mine is an oddness that is best slowly shown to people.   But I hurt for her deeply.

I’m in the middle of a biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  We know his life ends with him as a martyr, an incredibly sad and senseless loss that we will never understand.  And then I just finished a book about Bill Wallace, a medical missionary to China in the 30’s and 40’s, ending with his death at the hands of communists.  It was remarkable book about an extraordinary man.

In the middle of all of this, I’m at such a loss as to how the concept of the prosperity Gospel ever got off the ground.  Where in the history of Christianity, starting day one, does the prosperity Gospel show up?  It’s a lovely idea, but there’s not one bit of proof supporting it. But we are so afraid of what we are to face, the sword, that we look for ways around it and ways to avoid it.  And it’s simply not possible.

These are the things weighing on me tonight, and since there is usually music in my head to go along with my thoughts (see, odd!), here’s my song for the evening.